Yesterday, I got up and worked out. This isn’t a huge feat for me, I work out regularly by taking a CrossFit class at least 3 times but usually 4 times a week as well as getting outside and walking at least 2 miles per day. What made yesterday different was that I really, really didn’t feel like working out. I was tired after being up with Coen during the night and felt the cumulative effect of sleep deprivation catching up with me. It would of been easy to cozy up on the couch, drink tea and get everyone ready for the day.
I made a different choice. I chose to workout, but in a way that honored my current state. Having caught the CrossFit about 8 years ago, I have relished the push and the suck that comes with giving it your all during a workout. Exercise should be a positive stress on the body, in that by doing so you create a stronger, more resilient self. But, when you exercise at a level that is too intense for your current state it actually becomes a negative stress. It will break down your resiliency and make you weaker than before you started. This isn’t an excuse to get out of pushing yourself to greater fitness. It’s a recognition of honoring self, which as women, we don’t do nearly enough.
There are times to push through and times to pull back. There are times to go balls to the wall and times to reset. There are times to do it all yourself and times to delegate and leave it to someone else. We don’t have to be superwoman all the time. Take the time to listen to your body and your Self. You don’t always have to listen, but sometimes it will serve you to really slow down so then you can speed up. I dialed back my workout yesterday and did less weight and a lower intensity than I usually would have. I left the gym feeling happy that I went and more energized and capable for my day. That wouldn’t of happened if I had chose not to workout at all or I had pushed through with what I could of done.
Where have you seen this phenomenon to slow down to speed up in your own life?
Peace, Love and Wellness
Listen to the Podcast HERE
Time is one of the only resources that is irreplaceable. Once it’s gone there is no getting it back or making changes to it. As a mama, a business owner and spouse I’m constantly thinking about time - how to maximize it, where did it go, when are naps happening, and how to get everything done. Getting all the things I want to do in a day usually doesn’t happen, but just because I’m failing doesn’t mean I’m not succeeding or learning from my mistakes. Without failure we cannot grow, and without growth there is no success. I don’t think I’m the only mama who is struggling with time management. Our kids throw our timelines into chaos every time they don’t nap 'on schedule', or melt down when they should be playing quietly. That is the messiness and beauty of parenthood. Here's a few things I strive to do to maximize my time:
Thanks for reading! I would love to hear any thoughts or tips you have to manage time.
Peace, Love and Wellness
**GSD = Get shit done :)
The massacre in New Zealand has touched me deeply. I felt compelled to share something regarding it, possibly for a cathartic effect, but hopefully it can do more than that. This is what I wrote in the minutes after hearing about it... the first thoughts that came to mind.
As I watch my son goo, gah and giggle while getting changed, I’m reminded that we are not born with hate in our heart.
That to hate is something that we learn as we grow.
And what can be learned can be unlearned.
What can be learned can override past learnings.
To drive out hate we must spread love. It’s the only way. Darkness cannot be overcome with more darkness or more anger, we need to bring light even when it seems there is not even a flicker.
It starts with me. And it starts with you. There is no longer a place on the sidelines. Apathy is complicit to those that have learned to hate so strongly that they explode.
My thoughts are with my brothers and sisters in NZ. I am sending love and light. ❤️
Kia Kaha is a Maori phrase used as an affirmation to Stay Strong.
If you have been following me at all - on this blog or on instagram, you would know that I’ve been dealing with hives. They come and they go and until now I have been completely at a loss for what could be causing them. Last night, I put all the pieces of the puzzle and think I have come up with the answer. Breastfeeding is triggering the hives.
How do I know this? Well, when I am in practice seeing clients my hives completely go away. This initially led me to believe it was an allergen in my house. We then took a trip and were away from the house for 5 days, but I had zero relief from my hives. The second piece of the puzzle was diet. Usually, I’m quite conscientious about what goes in my mouth. On my recent trip to Australia, I wasn’t as picky and pretty much went with the flow in regards to food. It wasn’t my intention to have it continue when I got home, but it did. Dairy was the top of my list because I was completely dairy free for many months after Coen was born. Gluten is always a culprit as I know that I have a sensitivity to it through testing. So I started the whole30. A couple of days in, there was no change to my hives outbreak. The third piece of the puzzle was that when they originally started they would be worse when I woke up in the morning. Then a couple of weeks ago, they started getting better upon waking.
What changed? We moved Coen to his crib and I stopped feeding him at night. Coen doesn’t come to work with me and he takes a bottle while I’m gone, so most days I go 6 hours without feeding him. Then last night after feeding him for the second time since coming home from work, I felt the hives really kick in. After a quick google search, I found that it’s quite common during postpartum breastfeeding. Usually it happens early on in postpartum, but for me I had been under some stress since coming back from Australia and couple that with not eating well and BAM! Hives.
One thing to note here is that breastfeeding is not causing the hives. It is the trigger. That may seem like semantics, but bear with me here. For 10 months I breastfed without one single hive. If breastfeeding was causing the hives, then I would have had them all along. But I didn’t. What I have now is an immune system that is compromised from excess stress, both chemical and emotional. It’s up to me to rebuild my body through sound nutrition and self-care to allow myself the correct response to feeding Coen. I could choose to give up breastfeeding, and the hives may or may not go away. But, if I do that and they do go away, I have lost my feedback for whether I am on the right track nutritionally and emotionally. Your body is always giving you signs and signals. Symptoms are the alarm that something is wrong. Suppressing them or avoiding them doesn’t make the issue less real, just less present.
So, I’m continuing on with the whole30. It’s a great way to reset the body. I’m going to do some reading about what I can focus on in my diet to help my system chill the fuck out, and I’m going to listen to and nurture my body and mind to make sure that I’m in a great place emotionally. Oh, and I’ll continue to get adjusted by my chiropractor once a week (or more) to make sure all my systems are getting the messages they need to function properly.
A head in the sand approach will never get you the outcome that you want, where are you doing this in your life? Know that you’re not alone and can reach out whenever you get stuck or just want someone to vent to.
Update 3/14/19: I wrote the original post on March 6th.
I have now been supplementing with cod liver oil, evening primrose oil, vitamin D and continuing on with the whole30. As of yesterday, I am almost hive free. There was one spot on my leg when I woke up this morning but it was teeny tiny.
Guys, listen to your body, seek out the answers and work diligently to implement. Results won’t be overnight, but consistent action will get you what you want!
Listen to the Podcast Episode HERE
I always pictured myself cosleeping with my child. And we did for about 10 months. There was a lot of good. I didn’t have to get up to nurse and sometimes could even sleep while he was eating. There were oh so many snuggles. But the downsides of not being able to snuggle or have sex with my husband, having him wake whenever I got out of bed or be unable to go to bed on his own were hard. Eventually, I broke. It had been weeks of us struggling to get him to sleep at a reasonable hour, that also allowed us to have some time together at night. He would cry so hard in our arms while we rocked and soothed and walked. He would struggle to get free. How was this any different than the cry it out method? He was just as upset, and to make matters worse, after getting him to sleep he would generally wake up 40 minutes later to be up until we went to bed. This wasn’t good for anybody.
A friend had given us a sleep book, and we decided to go for it. I was super skeptical. The first night he cried for 40 minutes with my husband sitting right next to him, and then he woke up a couple of times during the night, one of which he cried for another 40 minutes. By night 3 he was asleep within 5 minutes, after a couple of whimpers. And he stayed asleep for 3+ hours. Wait, what? Is this actually possible? It hasn’t been smooth sailing. We’ve had a disastrous night of him awake every hour. Although my husband was up with him, and I slept pretty much through it all :) But overall, I feel this setup is much better for our family.
The ability to be flexible and not dogmatic about how it’s supposed to be is so important for life, not only parenthood. Being able to continuously evaluate what’s working and what’s not allows you to make adjustments and find better ways of doing things. This will only work if you’re willing to look at your surroundings with open eyes. Focus on the facts of things and try and keep your feelings out of it. If I had continued to stick with my feelings of wanting to cosleep, we’d still be fighting with Coen for an hour, so he could sleep for 40 minutes and be up again. The facts were, the bedtime arrangement wasn’t working anymore and it was time to change.
Insanity is doing the same fucking shit over and over again and expecting a change. And we do this all the time. With our health, our relationships, our career. You want change, take a good hard look at your habits and find where you can do something different. Only then will you get a different result...
Update: I wrote this original post on February 24th. Since then we have regressed. We took a trip and weren't able to keep up with the program we were on and it's been hard to get back on a schedule. I've now realized that it doesn't have to look a certain way. Just because the book says he should be able to go all night without eating and sleep for 12 hours, doesn't mean that it's going to happen. Finding our groove and what's working best for us is the most important thing.
For example. Last night, Coen went down on his own and slept for just over 4 hours. I was able to soothe him back to sleep in his crib, where he slept soundly until 4am. It was then that we ha a choice. Try to get him back to sleep, or feed him and bring him into bed. We chose the latter. We all slept again until just before 7am.
That to me is success. No, it doesn't look identical to the plan. But it allowed us to pivot into something better. Allow yourself the option to pivot towards a different outcome. Getting hung up on how it should be, rather than how it is will only lead to frustration. This relates to all things in your life. Where can you pivot towards a better option rather than the what you expected? Let me know!
I’m nearly 11 months into being a mother. Some would say, as soon as I got pregnant, I became a mother, but math isn’t my strong suit so let’s just say nearly 11 months. Reflecting back on what the almost last year has been like, I realized there are a couple of things that really stand out as surprising over this journey. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but I wanted to share mine and hopefully you’ll feel motivated to share yours and we can come up with a whole laundry list of surprising and unexpected things about motherhood to share with the next generation. So here are my top three things that surprised me about motherhood.
It goes without saying that I love my child. The words above are not to degrade this life changing event, but to bring enlightenment to it. To recognize that it’s ok to miss what was. To know it’s ok that giving love isn’t just one dimensional, and to understand that my own growth is just as important as my son’s. I know that each day, week, month and year is going to bring new surprises and lessons. It’s up to me to embrace the suck, the joy, the learning, the growth and the whole messiness of raising a family, because there is no other way to go through it.
Love to hear your thoughts about this one! Drop em’ in the comments below.